There has always been one thing in my life that I've been completely, positively, sure of - and that's being a mom. I knew that if there was one thing I was meant to to be, it was a mom. And I've been lucky and blessed enough to be a mom of two. From the moment I found out I was pregnant, my life changed completely. The love I had for someone whom I've never even met was unexplainable. My whole pregnant, I longed for the day that I would hold my baby in my arms. When I was in labor and things started to go downhill, I prayed like never before to my God and begged him to let this baby be okay. From the second that I laid eyes on my son, my heart grew times a million. And when we found out we were expecting our second baby, I was terrified. How could I possibly love another being more than I love my son? But I was wrong. When I saw him, my heart hurt from how much love was pouring out of it. And when I saw my oldest son meet the baby for the first time, the pure joy on his face and the shimmer in his eyes, is a moment I will cherish for the rest of my life. Mothers Day will always be special to me. It's a reminder that no matter where life takes me, my biggest dream has already come true. I'm a mom to two beautiful little boys, and for that, I will always be grateful.
A mom doesn't always look the same to some as to others. A mom could be a grandma, an aunt, a sister, a friend, a mentor, a teacher, a dad, and so many other things. And sometimes, Mom's don't get enough credit. So here we are, on Mothers Day. And here I am, writing to all of you Mom's out there.
To the pregnant Mom:
You're first official-yet-unofficial Mothers day with that tiny, little peanut inside of you. Cherish those fluttery butterfly movements inside of you. When the mornings are nauseating and the nights are almost unbearable, just remind yourself that these moments won't last forever. There will come a time where you will miss feeling all of these different ways. But don't rush that little bundle of joy out just yet. Enjoy the chaos right now, and give yourself a huge pat on the back for growing a human being inside of you! It's a beautiful, terrifying, wondrous, indescribable thing that you are doing and you are doing great!
To the Mom who is experiencing her first Mother's Day holding her baby in her arms:
Whether your little one is still tiny and sleeping most of the time, or you have one crawling around on the floor or maybe even walking, today is your day. That little miracle, you made! And even though the days may be exhausting, and the nights may be long, they only stay this tiny for such a short amount of time. So embarrass the moments when food is shot across the room, puke ends up on your favorite shirt, or you hear the beautiful sounds of giggles for the very first time. You only get one FIRST Mothers day, so make this one extra special with extra snuggles.
To the Mom of a toddler:
From one toddler mom to another - you are surviving and right now, that's ALL that matters. These years are tough, I tell ya. But between the tantrums and the tears, you will catch a glimpse of pure love and gratitude and a sweet taste of kindness that makes it all worth it. They will share a teddy gram with you or bring you a book to read to them. And no matter what you are doing in that moment, STOP what you are doing and truly give them your attention. These years are crucial and so important and right now, you might not seem like their whole world, but you are! (And if you are anything like me, you've probably been working on some type of arts and crafts project for the past three days that was making you want to rip your hair out, but when it's all said and done, it actually looks somewhat decent. You got this, even if your project isn't as Pinterest worthy as you were hoping!)
To the Mom of the grand-school kid:
These are the fun years. Truly they are. When your child can acknowledge what this holiday even is, when they can pick out a gift they specifically want to get you (even when it is nothing you would ever pick out yourself), when they can bring you their version of breakfast in bed or pick flowers from the old ladies garden next door. You're probably the cool mom who will take them out for ice cream when their friends are over, or let them stay up a half hour later on the weekends. Between shuffling from work or PTA meetings, to dance class or football practice, going to games all day long on the weekends, and somehow still managing to cook meals, do laundry, clean the house, and look good doing it - you are super mom! Give yourself a pat on the back, go buy yourself a latte from Starbucks and sneak in a quiet, peaceful trip to Home Goods all by yourself. You deserve it!
To the Mom of the High Schooler:
Just keep breathing, breathing, breathing. Attitudes are at an all time high. "You're always wrong and their always right. You're never fair. You're the worst ever." I get it. I was that (horrible) teenager at times too. But boy, are they wrong. It's really easy to get really frustrated and have zero patience; but somehow you manage. She has to have her nails done for her birthday - you pick her AND her friends up from school and take them. Oh, and you even sit a couple chairs away so they can act like they came all by themselves because, I mean, who would ever want to go get their nails done with their mom? Yuck. And he needs you to go to the store RIGHT now because he forgot that tomorrow is their anniversary and if he doesn't get her the best gift ever, she'll dump him - so you drop what you're doing, grab your keys, take him to 4 different stores to get the best gift ever, and you even end up paying for it - even if he has a job. Sometimes you feel like you're doing it all wrong. And then you're out in public and you watch your son run over to an elderly lady in a parking lot and he loads her groceries for her. Or you watch your daughter, who is sitting on the couch comforting her best friend who just got dumped - "by like the worst guy ever" - and you hear the comforting and reassuring words she is telling her and how she is trying to make it all okay again. Those are the moments where you are reminded that you ARE doing things right. You are raising strong, kind, loving, generous, giving human beings with hearts of pure gold. And that, my friend, is the best kind of gift you could ever get!
To the Mom who's at home for the first time alone, because her "baby" is now away at College; and to all the other Mom's who's children have moved out:
Everyone reminded you that the time will go by in a blink of an eye, and now here you are. But it's okay. Yes, this is a new chapter, but a chapter you deserve! Time to focus on you. You have spent A LOT of years catering to little ones, and now it's time to put that much work into you. ENJOY your new found "time". Go to the salon and pamper yourself. Join on yoga or zumba class, or maybe get a membership at your local gym. Go to that cool "paint and pour" class that you keep hearing about from your friends, or maybe call up those friends and head to the winery. Take a trip with your husband (he is the only kid you are still fully responsible of - wink wink!) and enjoy his company. Read a book on the back porch - uninterrupted. Make whatever meal you want instead of following the weekly meal-plan calendar - or better yet, go out to your favorite restaurant. It's time to start thanking yourself for all of those hard working years. And don't worry, they'll still call and visit all the time anyways.
To the Mom who's "baby" just had a "baby" and now Mom isn't your name - it's Grandma!:
You never thought you could love someone as much as you loved your child, right? And then you held that little baby in your arms and you knew you were wrong. It's felt like your heart has grown by a million, hasn't it? That little baby has given you a new, fresh look at life. You feel young again. You feel alive! And remember when you thought they didn't need you anymore? Well weren't you wrong. Now they won't stop calling; asking you to come over so they can get a couple hours of sleep, asking why that baby is making these weird sounds. "Hey, is it normal for the diaper to look like this?" It's not that they didn't need you before, but it is comforting to know how much they need you now, right? And now you have the best job of all! You get to love this little bundle of joy unconditionally, and when it starts crying, you get to hand it over. Perfect! I bet after a couple days of hearing baby cries, you are finding comfort in the silence of your home. Grandma, good job! You will soon be the superhero, and the only person in the world who will never say NO!
And now.... on to the harder ones....
To the girl who lost her Mom:
Today hurts. It's painful and reminding and just plain dumb. But today isn't the day to be sad. Today is the day to remember everything amazing about your beautiful mother. About how she brought you into this world, and about how she loved you since the moment she knew you were inside of her. There will be times in your life that will be hard to go through without her; like your first period, your first love and your first heartbreak, your prom, your high school graduation, your wedding day, or the day you bring your own baby into this world. There is nothing that I can say that will take that feeling of heartbreak away. But you and I both know that your mom wouldn't want you to dwell on things like that. She would want you to enjoy this moments, for yourself and for her. And she would want you to know that she is in your heart, always.
To the girl who grew up without a Mother because her Mom chose not to be around:
Take a good look at yourself. You have become something, and you did that without her. You didn't need her to hold your hand or tell you how pretty you are. You know what it's like to be hurt, to question things, to wonder why you weren't good enough. But that's not it at all. She wasn't good enough for you. She didn't want to fight for you. She didn't want to try. But you know what? That's not you. No it's not. You are strong. You are brave. You are a fighter. And not because you wanted to be, but because you HAD to be. She doesn't define you. In fact, she doesn't get any credit for you at all. You made something for yourself, for you and for no one else. And that, my love, is a beautiful thing. I KNOW what it's like to feel all of that. But I also know what it's like to know that I did it all for me, and that will always mean more to me than anyone would ever know. And that is how you should feel. Proud of yourself, and all you have done. Because you don't need someone else; all you've ever needed is YOU and YOU will ALWAYS be enough!
To the Mom who lost their child; whether it be living or through pregnancy:
My heart will always break for you. Unfortunately, you have gone through the one thing in this world that every single person wishes they'd never go through. And I am so sorry you had to go through that. But because you have, you know what true strength is. You've picked yourself up out of the darkest place in the world, and you've lived to see the days through. You have shared your stories with others, in hopes that they can relate to you. You've reached out to other Mom's who have gone through or who are going through the same thing. You give them strength and hope and courage. You see the world differently; more beautifully. You notice the wind and how it moves branches on trees, or how the rain falls on the ground and makes it glisten. You appreciate so many things that others take for granted. The days are hard, I could only imagine. And the nights are probably worse. But just because your baby might not be here on Earth, DOES NOT mean that you aren't a mom. You are the strongest mom out there.
To the girl who wants to be a Mom so badly, but God has different plans for you right now:
I may not be able to relate to you on every single level of this, but I promise you, I can relate. It's one of the hardest things in life to deal with; when you want something so badly that it hurts and yet, it's never close enough to grasp. And it's even harder to be completely surrounded by it. One minute, your in high school talking with all of your friends about the hottest clothing trend. Then, next thing you know, all of your friends are pregnant and talking about the latest baby craze, and your sitting there dying inside because you don't get to share in the glory. This chapter is hard. You often find yourself wondering why. Why can't you get pregnant? Why isn't your body on YOUR team and fighting with you to keep that baby in place, instead of fighting against you? It can be hard to be "happy" for others when you are so hurt inside. But God always has a plan. And it's not our job to always know that plan or the reasonings behind it. This chapter of your life isn't over. You don't have to close the book and call it quits. Your time will come. Just know that it might not be on YOUR time or in the way that YOU imagined it, but I promise, it will be worth all of this. Hang in there.
Happy Mothers Day to ALL of you beautiful souls. You are so special and you are so loved!
From one Mom to another,
XOXO
- Christine
